Letters to the editor. . .

Dear Krissa:
Thank you for buying every single book I want to read & letting me read them before you. I try not to fold the corners so they still seem new when you get around to reading them.


Dear Lady at the grocery store:
Please don't ask me if my child's hair is of Irish or Scottish decent because my first instinct was to say Velocoraptor.

Dear Jimmy:
Your wife called. She said to bring home dinner from Chileros. You should probably give her your number so she stops calling me.


Dear Walmart:
Why don't you sell plain Lemonheads?!? Sometimes people want to buy them you know.


Dear Neti Pot:
Thank you for your existence. I adore you.

Dear Preston:
No matter what anyone tells you, potatoes do not go in with the Tupperware cabinet, and your socks do not belong in the fridge. Also, if you would learn to walk I'd appreciate it.

Dear former manager at UOP:
Thank you for introducing me to Creamy Ranch Burger Hamburger Helper all those years ago. It's still awesome.

Dear Tom Cruise:
You won me back with Knight and Day. Smooth move. Respectively, Cameron Diaz...you still have some work to do. Maybe try making The Holiday 2.

Dear Patrick:
I. love. you.

Remember how I was going to plant a garden????

BOOM.

Now, those plants on bottom were actually starters & not seeds that have just grown super tall overnight. HOWEVER this morning when I went out to water I did notice 2 tiny little corn stalks sprouting!! Could have been a weed though.... I'll report back on that when there is more evidence.

A day late, but better then nothing!

The Truth is- the other night I had the best dream ever. I was sitting at a table with Britney Spears talking about Glee. Awesome. It was then followed by a not so great dream involving someone wearing jeggings who should NEVER wear jeggings and white ankle boots. Yikes.

The Truth is- Every time Patrick uses the word aggravated it makes me think of Agraba. You know, that place when Aladdin was from. Then in my mind I start singing Aladdin songs.

The Truth is- Whenever I have a book on hold at the library I like to look at what other people with my last name have on hold. For example, Fionna Roberts (b/c my library card is in my maiden name) is very interested in real life ghost stories. She'd probably be interested in the story of how my Phantom of the Opera music box is possessed.

The Truth is- The other night I was sitting on the couch reading, and I had my phone laying on that space between my neck and my shoulder (b/c I didn't have pockets) and when it vibrated I jumped and screamed a little (causing Patrick to jump also) because I thought it was a bumble bee. Scary!!

The Truth is- When most people watched the documentary Super Size Me about how horrible McDonalds food is they were put off McDonalds for life. Me, I had to pause the movie just so I could go get me some McDonalds before finishing it.

The Truth is- I'm pretty sure one time I counted to a million. I remember I was young and my Dad told me I had to take a nap and I wasn't tired and so he told me if I counted to a million and was still awake I could get up. I distinctly remember getting to a million! However I just looked it up and it would take about 6 days 22hrs 40 minutes to reach a million. Maybe I just reached 1,000.